Directed by: Aaron Fisher Starring: Alan Ruck, Odeya Rush, Ashton Sanders Go Horror Rating: C We're slapping a 'C' on this because we honestly don't even know if we liked or didn't like it. Some of it was just so unbelievably shit and some of it was totally acceptable so rather than try to get any deeper, we're leaving it smack-dab in the middle. If you go into this movie treating it like a toddler treats their day-to-day life, you'll have a fine time. 'I want a peanut butter sammch and let's colour on the couch and let's look at the garbage truck and I want to jump on a carrot and I want to play hide and seek but only if we both hide behind this specific lamp... and I want a plum on my sammich too' That's it, that's basically how this movie was directed. Some weird-ass Saw clone mixed with a lazy revenge angle didn't even have the actors convinced. Awkward touchy-feeling stuff, machine guns, gore that made no sense, and maybe the worst plot for a horror movie this year. But I'll be damned if I didn't sit through the whole thing and still feel like I'm mildly glad I watched it.

We're back from not being back after being back from not being back. You may be wondering what the hell that means or what the letter/number combination is after 'Site Update' and the truth is... they mean absolutely nothing and more importantly, we've just been putting our focus into some other things the last little while. We started off strong in 2020 but had spread ourselves too thin. From the vids and gaming to the reviews and other content, it was literally impossible to keep up with alongside day jobs, families etc. We had to rework the site and figure out a simpler path. Surprisingly that took long enough on its own, and then some of the crew welcomed new family members into the fray and time disappeared. The comeback was set last year and then again, we went dormant. Partly due to a change in design and web stuff but a few of us had some family and time constraints (which have to take priority). At the moment things are on the level and internally it's kind of the last crack at the task. We're not writers, we have no professional background in film, journalism, content or media. Shit, we can barely speak English or walk straight half the time, so when combining that with the fact that we're getting older and need to balance this with normal life; we can only do so much. This is and forever will be a passion project. We'll post content when we can but for this to make sense, it needs to co-exist with our average day-to-day. We apologize that we can't be as main-stream as many other big horror sites and certainly want to keep our fans engaged. For now the reader base is tiny and we hope that changes. We even tried to go the route of staying off social media but in the end, we caved. Here's hoping it creates more engagement and actually makes things easier to maintain. Thanks to anyone who stopped by and read one of our shitty reviews or articles. This is it, we're here to stay, even if we suck at it. Love and guts to all of you. GH

Directed by: Sebastien Vanicek Starring: Souheila Yacoub, Tandi Wright, Hunter Doohan Go Horror Rating: B Feed me Evil Dead movies day and night and I'll love them all. As far as the recent 3 go, this one's probably my favourite. I'll admit that some of the acting was rough but some of it really stood out, too. Erroll Shand was terrifying (almost had a 30 Days of Night vamp vibe to him), and Hunter Doohan has the most professional scared-shitless face in horror history. Spilled some water? Terrified. Deadite rampage? Terrified. I'm fond of kickass opening scenes and Evil Dead Burn delivered on that front. Parts of the story were a bit cheesy but I feel like the movie remained steady and relatively direct the entire time. The Necronomicon strikes again and we're here for it.

With Scary Movie 6 out now, it got us thinking back on the originals in the series. When we got wind of a new instalment, we couldn't wait for it to get released. Now, it ended up being a severe disappointment but it doesn't change how influential some of the originals were for horror comedies over the years. Today we're going to rank all 6 based on nothing other than our personal preferences. 6th: Scary Movie 5 - Total pile of shit and totally unforgivable. That's all there is to it. 5th: Scary Movie 6 - As we mention in our review, it's just too little and mildly annoying for a comeback as anticipated as it was. Lame cameos and bad parodies, it probably shouldn't have gotten a revival. 4th: Scary Movie 4 - Don't let the 4th place ribbon fool you, this was actually funny. It parodied a great mix of movies and had a nice array of guest stars. I never understood the hate for this one. 3rd: Scary Movie - Where it all started and it covered the classic horrors of the time. It was awesome but still a little rough around the edges. The series benefited from this as its opener and opened the door for more refined sequels. 2nd: Scary Movie 3 - The only reason this one is second is because Scary Movie 2 is essentially perfection for a horror-comedy. This sequel was hilarious. It's a neck and neck finish for us and SM3 well earns the silver medal. Sheen was hilarious and the ever growing Sheriff's hat scene is comedy gold. 1st: Scary Movie 2 - Winner winner, mashed potato dinner. Even nowadays you'll get references of the 'strong hand' from younger generations. This movie stood the test of time and is still pants-shitting funny today. We may go a lifetime without seeing a horror-comedy dethrone this in a parody-esque way.

Back from the dead... or I guess it's more like we're back from a really long nap, and dealing with newborn children-beasts. We took some time off to steady the ship in our respective personal lives but are now ready to continue making content for all 9 of our viewers. It'll take some time to get back into the swing of things and we'll have to rework some old content to repost. We wanted to rebuild and tweak a few things including an overhaul of our socials and the gutting of our YT. We resentfully decided to keep/start from scratch our IG and FB pages but are abandoning Twitter. We're going to use Bluesky indefinitely and re-evaluate the IG/FB combo over the next little while. YT will make it's return in due time once we have some more time to dedicate to it. For now we're going to play catch-up and try to keep up with the new and noteworthy in the horror world, while working away at getting our rankings up for movies pre-2000. Thank you to original and returning viewers, we're looking forward to having more eyeballs catch our content, too!

Looks like Peachfuzz is back with more goofy murderin' and you can colour us stoked. Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass are coming at us with 6 new episodes that'll feature some awesome guest stars such as young star Elliott Fullam (Terrifier 2 & 3), the always-awesome Kate Siegel (Hush), and even Duplass' daughter, Ora Duplass. Season 3 will premiere on September 15th with 2 episodes, exclusively on Shudder.

Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Charles Melton, Havana Roe Liu Go Horror Rating: D I'm mad that I didn't like this movie. The Pusher series, Neon Demon... I'm down with Refn and he's more than proven himself. This, though, is just a big bowl of what-the-fuck-soup. Seriously. I don't want to take away from Thatcher either because she's been kicking ass lately, so don't write her off if you haven't seen her other movies. I'm usually easy to please with movies when you throw those cool colours and gritty futuristic shit at me, but I legitimately fell asleep and had to finish it the following day. The dialogue was really bad and there were even times where it was like the actors were told to over annunciate their lines. The Leatherman, daddy issues, competition, aggression, fucking mist, atrocious fight scenes, glamour, trauma... I dunno dawg, this movie was the equivalent of a PB&J sandwich deep fried in Red Bull.

Directed by: Howard J. Ford Starring: John Rhys-Davies, Sarah Alexandra Marks, Louis James Go Horror Rating: C As a huge fan of The Descent, this movie hit me in the horror-feels. Nowhere near as intense but it sure as shit did a good job. The creature is worth watching for completely on it's own. The acting was a mixbag of pretty good and meh, but once this movie gets into the meat and potatoes, you're left pretty full and satisfied. The plot leaves something to be desired but Ford stuck with it and made it work.

Directed by: Michael Tiddes Starring: Marlon Wayans, Anna Faris, Regina Hall Go Horror Rating: C I'm being very generous with the 'C' rating because I'm a huge fan of the series and I was happy to have it come back. Truth is, it was pretty bad. The Wayans', Faris, Hall, and Keegan were all cool but the OG cameos were done so poorly. The parodies were terrible and the jokes were cringey as shit (and not in some sort of modern-woke-inthiseconomy type way). I was hoping for off-side and witty, but it was just rehashed lolz from the 2000s that were somehow delivered in a worse manner. I'll be honest, though, I thought Keegan was legitimately Faris' daughter. She nailed it and they had some wicked chemistry. The Wayans cashed in but I hope it's over for good now. I can't possibly trust this series to bounce back from this.

Directed by: Mimi Cave Starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Sebastian Stan, Jojo T. Gibbs Go Horror Rating: B This movie was certainly a good time, but lacked any real charm or chemistry. Noa (Daisy Edgar-Jones) looks 19 and Steve (Sebastian Stan) looks 47. He looked like an upscaled Ted Bundy and what sucks is, I don't think it was on purpose. Noa played her role great, although stumbled through parts where she had to act with-no-ass. There was a good sense of believability as Noa navigated through the modern dating scene and an accurate depiction of the single life. The swipe culture or meat-market, for most people (especially women), is a perpetual grind. Balancing fears and impatience is at the forefront and Cave does a good job at slapping you in the face for letting your guard down. I appreciated how the movie effectively sprinkled in the gore, comedy, and suspense but I also think the movie was about 20 minutes too long. Everyone loves some twists, but here they felt a little aspirant and ultimately hollow. Fresh is still a good movie with lots to enjoy and Mimi Cave is a director to keep your eye on.